Posted by: Amelia | August 8, 2007

Good Onion, Bad Onion

Tee hee.  The Onion, on Harry Potter:

Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers

NEW YORK-Harry Potter fans throughout the world were shocked, disappointed, and outraged to learn last week that J.K. Rowling’s 750-page novel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, blatantly answers every looming question in the 10-year-long saga, even going so far as to divulge what happens to key characters 20 years into the future.

“The whole experience is completely ruined for me,” said 25-year-old fan Ethan Clay, adding that the book builds up suspense, and then, without warning, gives away vital, plot-altering information. “The least [Rowling] could have done was put a spoiler alert or something on the front cover.”

Less amusing was The Onion’s video segment entitled “J.K. Rowling Hints At Date Rape” for Book 7.  Because you know what’s hilarious?  Date rape!  But seriously, there wasn’t anything particularly funny about the dialog in the segment, leading me to believe that the writers must have thought that the phrase “date rape” would be humorous enough (in the context of a book about teens?) to stand on its own.  And the segment ends with a fake rumor about a character “bleeding to death in a back-alley sex change operation.”  Again, is this phrase supposed to just be inherently funny?  I guess I don’t get the joke.  Today must be my day to fulfill the “humorless” stereotype of a feminist.  Because it’s just too damn hot in DC to burn bras today.


  1. Ready for my rant? Here goes.

    I think this is really funny. When you mentioned the ‘back-alley’ quote, I laughed so hard! I mean, the last thing J.K. Rowling would conjuer up in his head is a back-alley death from a sex change operation. That’s like saying you, as a feminist, are heading protests to ban women’s right to vote. Of course I assume you’d NEVER do that; that’s why (I think, at least) it’s funny! No, bleeding to death after a sex change isn’t funny in real life, but we can insert it hypothetically into a Harry Potter book and get a good laugh. And laughing feels nice in real life. Unlike dying or bleeding to death.

    Putting things in a context where they don’t belong can sometimes be a recipe for a good laugh. Don’t you think?

    And to those sad few who have ACTUALLY had a family member bleed to death from a sex-change operation, well, as a result, I’m sure they’re MORE than aware that the world is imperfect…so if they come across a joke that coincidentally targets them, well, sorry, but shit happens. Shoot, I could make a joke about the sky and astronauts would get pissed.

    Real life is inherently good and bad. Both terrible and wonderful things are inevitable in everyone’s life; we might as well laugh while we’re here.

    I’m sure you have your disagreements. Fire away!

    -20 something guy

    (sorry my email address is fake…i just don’t like giving it out)

  2. Update: J.K. Rowling had a sex change and is now a woman.

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